i dunno where i should start.i really dunno wat happen to me n my parents.sometimes i really envy those children who can talk watever things to their parents esp their secrets or their bgr watever la.to me, i cant! wat's in their mind is their own thinking.i juz think they don understand me lo.or i din express myself well?? haiz.now i feel like i'm stayin alone in the house lidat.ever since my papa noe abt me n rong are dating.he din tok to me.me too.at 1st i don wan tok to him is bcuz i scare he scold or wan me break up or wat.so i choose not to tok to him.after dat i wan to tok but i dunno how to open my mouth.so forget it lo.might as well don tok.as for my mum.she kip nagging at me.say cannot do tis cannot do dat.y so young muz have a boyfriend? he haven step into society how u noe he is a good guy n blar blar blar...haiz.y cant i have my own decision?? i noe nowadays those youngsters' relationship don last long.it doesn't mean dat me n rong cant rite? tis is the decision i make.if next time i have to bear any hardship is oso my problem.my aunties n parents don kan hao tis gan qing lo.i will prove them wrong.i hope rong don let me down lo.hehez =P baby rong, there's still a long way for us to go.3 years of poly.tis period of time may be difficult for us than now.cuz we have to study n cant always go out n tok on fone.hope u understand.the only days we can go out is maybe on fri le ba.see how la.anyway.i juz wan to strive in my poly.i wan to let my parents noe dat having a boyfriend will not affect my studies!

yday went to lot1.wu yuan wu gu kana scold by mama when i reach home.she say i treat her as invisible.treat her as bu chun zai de.ask me to go out le don come back.siao de lo.den i noe dat she hungry.but is not my fault wat.b4 i go out i ask her wan eat wat.den say if after 5 come back don buy le.tis is wat she say lo! if she hungry she should ask me come back early wat.wat for she still say after 5 don buy le.stupid rite? brainless.hungry say la.wont say ar? den is like everything my fault lidat.i got the urge to leave home.where can i go? rong house? cant possible wan me stay forever rite? dunno her la.sometimes i juz feel my mum very wu li qu nao lo.den while she mopping floor rong call me mar.she scold me again."if wan always stick together pack all ur things and go his house stay lo.don nid to tok on fone.say i bcum very bad le.morning tok on fone, afternoon tok, midnight still tok." still got more la.aiya.wat's wrong toking on fone? have i did anything wrong?? anyway i oso free incoming all day mar.wat's wrong?!?! went to take my dinner.found dat the tell i buy she din touch.forget it la.next time i wont buy la.at nite tell the lap top coming le.she hew lan me.no money is her problem le.i already told her.nomb anymore!

haiz.everyweek there muz be a quarrel.got once i cry.cuz my aunt give me $200 to buy books.den my mum ask me left how much.den i say left $120.say wrongly mar.den she started scolding me.but i got tell her i say wrongly left $170 lo.den she juz kip on scold n scold lo.say i always go out anyhow spend money.don allow me to go out anymore.and no money still don wan go out.and so on la.den i very du lan lo.i oso noe tis family is in need of money.dat's y i signing up for a job rite? if i dunno dat wat for i doing dat.dat job got to go wat meeting, read tis n dat.i wonder did she spare a tot for me anot? haiz.wat she noe is i always spend money.others work is juz spend on themselves.buy their own clothes, shoes, bag etc.me? example me earn $800 a month.every week give mama $50 n papa oso.den hp bill $50 per month.the rest leh.my lunch, fare card.a week i have to spend $20 for bus fare.etc etc.how much do i spend on myself? i only buy clothes during cny.dat's all.i noe i spend money very fast oso la.but i oso did control myself rite? dunno la.in their eyes i juz noe how to spend money.as for my kor.he juz noe how to say me.holiday for so long don work.i work is as if for my whole family.not for myself lo.so wat if i don work? when i'm schooling i oso don work wat.does dat make a difference?

i don really trust my mum.is every mum lidat? b4 olevel she can promise n say everything.but after o, everything seems diff.totally diff!!! she everytime say i break promise.wat abt her? b4 olevel, i say i wan to withdraw $1000 and open another acc.dat $1000 is oso i work hard earn dao de money lo.those bursary n eagles.still remember she once say me play netball so hard for wat? got use ar? juz for dat netball already let me earn $300.every hard work there's a pay off.i lidat say correct anot ar? aiya.ang mo lousy la.den after olevel i wan to take out she say cannot.later i anyhow spend.and add on to poly nid a lot of money all these la.stupid de rite? still got lo.b4 olevel she say after o u wan go out is ur problem.i wun care abt u.but now.totally diff story again.now i wan go out she say cannot.cuz i going out wif guys.wat shit!! she juz have her excuses lo.stupid!!

everytime i compare wif my bro she will always have her excuses.say she is bias she don admit.wat can i do? after dinner those who eat last have to wash plates.i din wash i kana scold.as for my bro.he juz put in the basin and play his computer.wat my mum do is help him wash.her excuse is i'm a gal.so have to do all those.so wat if i'm a gal? now women n men are of the same status.who say gals muz do all the household chores n guy muz go out work? who set the rule? tis is juz 1 of the incident.the rest i don wan say la.is more or less abt the same lo

i dunno y i say all these lo.aiya.dunno la.juz feel very hopeless, helpless at home.stupid de la.

- Weiting -
- 9 NOV 1988 -
- turning 21st soon! presents? ^.^ -
- SVPS, CCKSS, NP(ECE-microE)-
- Stepped into working society in Dec08 -
- In a Relationship with Mr Toh Yong Rong -

:: with laogong till old ::
:: always always happy ::
:: overcome my phobia ::
:: control my temper! ::
:: collect waterglobe ::
:: collect 偶像剧 VCD ::
:: collect all tweety bird stuffs ::
:: laptop or desktop ::
:: Decorate my room ::
:: open a shop (no idea wat to sell yet) ::
:: have a grand wedding dinner ^.^ ::